Moving

8 Celebrations a Day

A Love Letter from Alex *

Some days it really pays to sort through old files. This afternoon, I found a stack of love letters and cards from my late husband, Alex.

He wrote an especially beautiful letter at a point during our courtship when I was going through a really rough patch at work. I thought you might find his words as comforting-and inspirational–as I did. Both then, and now:

I send you my affection and love to be with you….keep us close together during the trying times….calling on our total energies to help you through….but also call on our combined energies and love when it is time to celebrate at the high times of each day – there should be at least 8 celebrations each day….

When you awake…to another day, the purr of a cat, to the sneeze of [the dog], to the song of birds or to the first ray of sunlight.

Sipping a cup of tea, munching on a crust of toast, peanut butter or crunching a dry cereal for breakfast.

Taking a walk in the out-of-doors regardless of snow, rain, sleet, sun, or cottonwood seeds gliding down to earth, smelling the scents of earth, water, cut grass, sweat of a horse, after shave lotion, fresh dab of perfume or baby oil.

Greetings from friends, acquaintances, students, strangers, passer-bys, your own image reflected in a mirror or storefront window. Surprize….being alive to all which surrounds you each moment in each day.

Listening and hearing the sounds of your own voice…talking, yelling, singing, laughing, whispering.

Touching…oh so many objects, people, animals, buildings, your car, a flower, a caterpillar, the wine in your goblet, the lips of your lover….your own body….with pride, delight and passion.

To be emotional….full range and depth…no limit…full limit…restrained and then abounding…internal and external-Yeah! Take it in…Give and let it out….Human and Full of Life.

To sleep and rest after a fantasy called life which has been experienced….throughout each day.

That my Mary Is what you do! Each and Every day of your creative and beautiful life. Celebrate the existence of yourself with each and every living creature-

I too will celebrate life with you….each day and each moment of that day-

I enjoy spending these seconds with you.

***

* Originally published 12/8/2008

Image Credits:

Love Letters by Patricia Lazar on Flickr (cc) Some Rights Reserved

by mary elaine kiener Leave a Comment

Saving Myself (in 2 Simple Steps)

About a month ago, I happened upon the work of Emily Fletcher. She calls it the Ziva Technique and has recently released her first book, entitled Stress Less, Accomplish More.

In spite of my decades-long suffering with “meditation-cushion-failure syndrome“, I’m delighted to report that I have become a delighted (and committed!) twice-daily Ziva practitioner. So much so, that I consider it to be one of my foundational Courageous Wellbeing practices.

Wow! Who woulda thunk! 😉

Then, a couple of days ago, Emily sent a video link [~ 19 min] from her 2016 presentation from the A-Fest Biohacking conference in Greece.

While the the title of Emily’s talk, How to Save the World (in 2 Simple Steps) might seem a bit hoaky and provocative, her talk itself is both thought-provoking and sincere. Emily brings equal parts passion, science and levity to a discussion of what she calls “the 3 big scaries” affecting our world today – “fake food”, terrorism and climate change and how each of us can take responsibility to overcome them (in 2 simple steps).

I’d love to hear how her presentation lands inside of you!

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Every Long Journey…One Step at a Time

Screenshot - FitBit Badge I don’t know about you, but I don’t seem to have the kind of body that does well with prolonged exercise. At least not during the past 30+ years.

Don’t worry, I’ll spare you the boring details. They’re not the important part of this story.

Rather, I wanted to share how wonderful it felt to unexpectedly receive the “Great Wall badge” from fitbit in my email.

Wow! 5500 miles I’ve walked since I started tracking my steps. I don’t know how long it’s taken me, but that doesn’t matter, somehow. Blue and I don’t always get to the targeted 10,000 steps per day. However, we DO walk every day.

We’re not competing with anyone. I had recently discovered I feel really uncomfortable awakening a dormant competitive spirit inside of me after a friend invited me to join her in a weeklong fitbit “distance” competition. On the other hand, I DID enjoy sharing a designated scenic “hike” with her. Simply enjoying the scenery without any need to come in first.

One step in front of the other. One moment at a time. One day at a time. Sometimes a bit slower than others – there might be vistas to savor or roses to smell.

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A Pause within Moving-Forwardness

Yikes, the exercise gods had spoken. Or, maybe just the Fitbit goddess on my wrist.

For years, I’ve strived to consistently meet the minimum recommended goal of 10,000 steps per day. It never seemed to matter whether you got them in all at once or whether they were spread out through the day.

Fitbit recently raised its ante with a new challenge: track how many hours you move 250+ steps. At first, it was fun exploring 250-step “equivalents” (e.g., 8 round-trip stair climbing between the 1st and 2nd floor or 7 “circles” around the first floor of my house, etc.). Blue (the dog) certainly enjoyed the game, trotting along merrily at my heels. It soon felt stressful—rather than playful—as I started conjuring how to “game” the tracking system itself: perhaps by walking 500+ steps at the top of each hour, I could then get credit for two separate time-blocks.

Until, in a rather unusual way, “inertia” stepped in. I had just read a recently published article that referenced inertia from its use in physics: “The property of matter by which it retains its state of rest or its velocity along a straight line so long as it is not acted upon by an external force.” I was particularly intrigued with the idea of inertia being able to include “velocity”. So, I decided to allow the Fitbit to simply continue tracking both my moving and non-moving, while I shifted my attention to more intricate facets for this dimension of wellbeing.

At first, there’s this whole thing about…moving as it relates to time. If time moves forward and I stay put, then I get “stuck”. Yet, if I move out of rhythm with time (so that I’m either ahead or behind), then I’m out of sync. The image of a river’s current spawns a curious wondering about my way of being in the world. Is wellbeing a future-time goal or outcome that I achieve only by crossing through the current to reach the opposite shore? Or, is wellbeing somehow “flowing” in the current itself? Ah, yes, what I long to find: a way to be in synchrony with the flow of time so that there’s both a sense of moving and being still–in the moment, in the now.

Gradually, a concept of “inertly moving” shifts into a sense of “moving forwardness” even while still. A fresh image comes – of sitting inside a train, next to another train. There’s a sense of movement, although hard to distinguish which train is actually moving. Then, I remember encountering a glacier, a river of ice—its own forceful power constantly moving, albeit imperceptibly.

Ah…”moving stillness”…movement that comes from the stillness…offering a pause in my moving-forwardness. And, now, by odd coincidence, the Fitbit has suddenly and permanently “paused”—no longer willing to track ANY movement!

* Originally published as => Kiener, M.E. (2016, May). Choosing Courageous Wellbeing: A relationship with food. Sibyl Magazine. For the Spirit and Soul of Woman. Retrieved from www.sibylmagazine.com.

by mary elaine kiener 8 Comments

A Relationship with Food

I used to think I was a foodie–that is, until I met Blue, my newly adopted dog. He seems totally motivated by food, which makes it easy to nurture our relationship with lots of treats to reward his good behavior. Meanwhile, I’ve been noticing a fresh invitation inside to bring a “healthy yes” to my own relationship with food.

As I “sit with” all this, I first become aware of places inside me that want to stretch and be stretched. Ah, yes – it feels as though it’s not “just” my muscles, but also my whole relationship with food that is wanting to stretch.

It’s intriguing. While I often learn by how things are similar, I sense that the differences between how Blue and I regard food will influence this discovery process. As much as I LOVE food, I’m neither motivated FOR it nor BY it. Yet, there’s something about my relationship WITH it that is wanting to grow and change. For example, I have a “pattern” of going out of my way to get food “on the go” [usually less healthy and often unsatisfying] when I may already have food here at home that’s available, and perhaps even prepared.

With a recently made simple change – to consciously choose a meal from food that is already available at home – I also notice a shift in Blue’s and my relationship. Now, whenever I prepare food, he’s right there next to me, looking for treats. So, no matter what raw fruit or veggie I’m cutting up [that’s safe for him to eat], I offer him some. He loves his healthy treats. And our relationship bond continues to strengthen.

I begin to sense inside a mere whisper of something that feels like tears–as if I’m letting go of something from the past. Ah, a budding realization that part of my relationship with food has served as a substitute for whatever nourishing relationships that weren’t happening for me as a child. As I dip more deeply inside, allowing time to speak those words aloud, I also feel a physical, constricted tightening around the outside of my throat being met by yearning, yawning stretches from the inside.

Remembering the smoothie I had for breakfast, I also notice a kind of spacious feeling inside. Simultaneously, my body-mind begins to differentiate between sensations of “empty”, “spacious”, “full”….and something else…..Ah, there’s a wanting to “stay full” because it’s afraid of “being empty”. The word “enough” bubbles to the surface, tinged with worry. As I remember that I always seem to “have” enough, it seems this sense of worry is really about not “being” enough!

I feel a bit like the Sankofa bird—that moves forward as it looks backward holding an egg in its mouth. With a grateful smile, I realize this life-giving forward energy involves food!

* Originally published as => Kiener, M.E. (2016, April). Choosing Courageous Wellbeing: A relationship with food. Sibyl Magazine. For the Spirit and Soul of Woman. Retrieved from www.sibylmagazine.com.

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One Breath Bigger

Jennifer Louden recently addressed the idea of becoming “Skillfully Empathetic” – an especially challenging dilemma for those of us who are caregivers. We have huge hearts, and often expect that somehow we must be able to care for everyone else in the world.

In the piece, Jen offered some really insightful perspectives related to boundary-setting, discernment and self-care–as part of her 3 year-long experiment in “Savoring and Serving.”

In addition, Jen shared a wonderful exercise in creating “energy boundaries” from Hiroboga‘s How to Rule Your World:

Ground, center, and be aware of your breath as it flows into your nostrils, flows down into your belly, and flows out of your body again.

Notice how your whole body, including your skin, expands a little when you breathe in, and contracts a little when you breathe out.

Make this a conscious movement now. Expand slightly on the in-breath. Contract slightly on the out-breath.

Now feel your own energy body all around you. Sense into it and notice its quality, its texture, its temperature, weight, density. Is it denser or more diffuse than the air around you?

Feel the boundary of your energy body, like a second skin, all around you—about three to four feet beyond your physical skin.

Scan it, to see if there are areas that feel more or less tangible to you. Are there areas that are so diffuse you can’t feel them at all? Others that are more dense or solid?

As you breathe in and out, let your whole energy field, including the skin of your boundary, expand and contract. Expand with the in-breath. Contract with the out-breath.

Make this a conscious, pumping movement. Flex and extend your energy body the same way that you expand and contract your physical body when you breathe in and out.

Notice if you can now sense the boundary of your energy body more clearly.

Now expand your energy body out further, until it fills the whole room that you’re in. Take your boundary right out to the four walls, the ceiling and the floor of your room.

Stay grounded and centered. If you moved out of center bring yourself back. Center your awareness first in your spine, then in the center of your head, and extend out from there throughout your whole body and into your energy field all around you.

Notice how you feel when your energy field is as big as the whole room.

Release any discomfort or tension down your grounding, and ask the earth to please transform it.

Now bring your energy field in, drawing it gradually closer to you until it is just an inch or two beyond your skin. Continue to breathe naturally, and let your boundary expand slightly with each in-breath and contract slightly with each out-breath.

Even though your field is so close to your body, it is still fluid and flexible.

Notice how this feels.

Then let your energy field expand again until it’s at a distance that feels comfortable and natural for you. Notice what that is for you right now.

As I read through and experienced this luscious exercise (thanks to both Jen and Hiroboga for making this available!), I was intrigued by how beautifully it might nurture the concept of “Self-In-Presence” that I teach as part of Focused Self Care. That is, perhaps becoming more skillful at sensing our boundaries at an energy-based level of body-mind-spirit-oriented knowing would also help us better respond to whatever challenges life brings our way.

For example, I often teach that we need only become “one breath bigger” than our biggest fear to become “Self-in Presence.” Now, with this lovely exercise, once we can become clearer about sensing, recognizing and even shifting ALL of our boundaries – whether it’s our “skin envelope”, our energy body or our energy field – it should be easier for us to become that one breath larger than our most anxious or fearful part.