Self Responsibility & Love

Breaking Free

I learned about this wondrous sculpture quite serendipitously while in the midst of a Google-rabbit-trail.*

Photo of Freedom Statue sculpture by Zenos Frudakis — Freedom Statue by Zenos Frudakis

I wanted to create a sculpture almost anyone, regardless of their background, could look at and instantly recognize that it is about the idea of struggling to break free. This sculpture is about the struggle for achievement of freedom through the creative process. – Zenos Frudakis

* My Google-rabbit-trail journey started as a result of watching an episode of Daniel Pink‘s “Pinkcast 3.05: This is how to keep a book of small experiments“. In this episode, Dan’s guest (Author, David Epstein) referenced Harvard University’s Dark Horse Project–“a long-term study of how women and men achieve success by harnessing their individuality”. The Freedom Statue is a featured image on the Project’s webpage. I then found additional information about the actual sculpture (located in Philadelphia) on the Clio website (itself a wonderful “educational website and mobile application that guides the public to thousands of historical and cultural sites throughout the United States”). The sculpture’s info page on Clio included the 5.14 min. video (below) that offers closeup views of the entire sculpture.

As I then continued a bit further along the “Dark Horse” portion of the rabbit trail, I found an article by Todd Rose and Ogi Ogas, entitled “How ‘dark horses’ flip the script of success and happiness”, featuring an excerpt from their 2018 book, Dark Horse: Achieving Success Through the Pursuit of Fulfillment.

What dark horses have in common is that they use fulfillment as a path to success–not the other way around. How do they do this? By investigating and understanding their motivations–that is, knowing fully what they want and why they enjoy the things they do. – Todd Rose

Here’s a brief (6.25 min) video with Todd Rose offering further insights.

I’m intrigued by the authors’ perspective–especially in light of my own current practice of making life choices toward joy and wellbeing–rather than more traditional societal measures of material success.

How about you? What touches you–whether about the Freedom Statue or the Dark Horse Project? Feel free to leave your comments (below).

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Let Your Love Shine

Earlier today, I met up with a friend for our “spring pedicure” ritual. As we were sorting through the multitude of nail polish colors, I noticed how differently we approached the actual choice-making process.

My friend looked within a specific color range that made sense with how she was feeling. She pondered a bit, and then simply made her selection. Meanwhile, I first did a quick inner check between various color ranges. [I’ve been know to alternate between turquoise “mermaid” toes and deep blood-red colors.] Today felt more like a “red” kind of toe-day. So far, so good.

However, when I turned a few bottles upside down to see the color’s “name” on the label–there were NO labels. My heart sank! How could I choose a color that had no name attached to it? The color’s actual name (they’re almost always pretty silly) always “seals the deal” for me in the final selection process.

My friend just chuckled, claiming she never even looks at the labels.

So, I kept on turning a few bottles over looking to find one with a label and a name.

Yippee!

Found one!

And, instantly knew it was the exact right one for toe-day!

Let Your Love Shine

In the past, I’ve often said that I got pedicures to help nurture my feminine side. And, to “remind myself that I’m a girl”. Now–or, at least for the next couple of months–every time I see my toes, I’ll also be instantly reminded of another “background feeling” I’ve been especially nurturing of late: To live from my heart space.

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8 Celebrations a Day

A Love Letter from Alex *

Some days it really pays to sort through old files. This afternoon, I found a stack of love letters and cards from my late husband, Alex.

He wrote an especially beautiful letter at a point during our courtship when I was going through a really rough patch at work. I thought you might find his words as comforting-and inspirational–as I did. Both then, and now:

I send you my affection and love to be with you….keep us close together during the trying times….calling on our total energies to help you through….but also call on our combined energies and love when it is time to celebrate at the high times of each day – there should be at least 8 celebrations each day….

When you awake…to another day, the purr of a cat, to the sneeze of [the dog], to the song of birds or to the first ray of sunlight.

Sipping a cup of tea, munching on a crust of toast, peanut butter or crunching a dry cereal for breakfast.

Taking a walk in the out-of-doors regardless of snow, rain, sleet, sun, or cottonwood seeds gliding down to earth, smelling the scents of earth, water, cut grass, sweat of a horse, after shave lotion, fresh dab of perfume or baby oil.

Greetings from friends, acquaintances, students, strangers, passer-bys, your own image reflected in a mirror or storefront window. Surprize….being alive to all which surrounds you each moment in each day.

Listening and hearing the sounds of your own voice…talking, yelling, singing, laughing, whispering.

Touching…oh so many objects, people, animals, buildings, your car, a flower, a caterpillar, the wine in your goblet, the lips of your lover….your own body….with pride, delight and passion.

To be emotional….full range and depth…no limit…full limit…restrained and then abounding…internal and external-Yeah! Take it in…Give and let it out….Human and Full of Life.

To sleep and rest after a fantasy called life which has been experienced….throughout each day.

That my Mary Is what you do! Each and Every day of your creative and beautiful life. Celebrate the existence of yourself with each and every living creature-

I too will celebrate life with you….each day and each moment of that day-

I enjoy spending these seconds with you.

***

* Originally published 12/8/2008

Image Credits:

Love Letters by Patricia Lazar on Flickr (cc) Some Rights Reserved

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Saving Myself (in 2 Simple Steps)

About a month ago, I happened upon the work of Emily Fletcher. She calls it the Ziva Technique and has recently released her first book, entitled Stress Less, Accomplish More.

In spite of my decades-long suffering with “meditation-cushion-failure syndrome“, I’m delighted to report that I have become a delighted (and committed!) twice-daily Ziva practitioner. So much so, that I consider it to be one of my foundational Courageous Wellbeing practices.

Wow! Who woulda thunk! 😉

Then, a couple of days ago, Emily sent a video link [~ 19 min] from her 2016 presentation from the A-Fest Biohacking conference in Greece.

While the the title of Emily’s talk, How to Save the World (in 2 Simple Steps) might seem a bit hoaky and provocative, her talk itself is both thought-provoking and sincere. Emily brings equal parts passion, science and levity to a discussion of what she calls “the 3 big scaries” affecting our world today – “fake food”, terrorism and climate change and how each of us can take responsibility to overcome them (in 2 simple steps).

I’d love to hear how her presentation lands inside of you!

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Every Long Journey…One Step at a Time

Screenshot - FitBit Badge I don’t know about you, but I don’t seem to have the kind of body that does well with prolonged exercise. At least not during the past 30+ years.

Don’t worry, I’ll spare you the boring details. They’re not the important part of this story.

Rather, I wanted to share how wonderful it felt to unexpectedly receive the “Great Wall badge” from fitbit in my email.

Wow! 5500 miles I’ve walked since I started tracking my steps. I don’t know how long it’s taken me, but that doesn’t matter, somehow. Blue and I don’t always get to the targeted 10,000 steps per day. However, we DO walk every day.

We’re not competing with anyone. I had recently discovered I feel really uncomfortable awakening a dormant competitive spirit inside of me after a friend invited me to join her in a weeklong fitbit “distance” competition. On the other hand, I DID enjoy sharing a designated scenic “hike” with her. Simply enjoying the scenery without any need to come in first.

One step in front of the other. One moment at a time. One day at a time. Sometimes a bit slower than others – there might be vistas to savor or roses to smell.

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Do you suffer from “meditation-cushion-failure” syndrome?

OK, I have a confession to make. I’m one of millions of “meditation-cushion-failure” folks. Decades ago (probably in the 70’s), I tried (TM) a number of times – with one of two results. I either got really peeved or I fell asleep. Neither alternative sounded like a desirable outcome. So, I quit. And, judged myself as a failure. Maybe, you can identify.

On the other hand, I’ve always been pretty good at “napitating” – as Dr. Mark Hyman puts it. The practice came in especially handy back in the 80’s when I was writing my dissertation. Whenever I’d get stuck in the writing process, I’d take a nap. When I’d wake up, I’d start writing again before my thoughts got too tangled up with each other. At one critical point, I remember actually having all my note cards spread out around me in bed. Nap, write, nap, write. For days. It worked. [A few months later, during the final typing phase on my very first computer, it felt as though I drained out my “nap” account as I’d get lost in the keyboard as hours sped quickly away with no time available for sleep. But, I digress.]

A quick bit of context setting

When I learned about Focusing just over 10 years ago, I quickly realized that I had actually been a “closet” Focuser my whole life. However, I had never been encouraged to develop and nurture this exquisite natural capacity for body-based, experiential felt-sensing. I was intrigued, delighted and affirmed. I sailed through the certification process and quickly integrated Focusing into both my personal life and professional work.

Early on during this same time period, I had also become aware of HeartMath, the concept of “coherence” and the use of biofeedback to identify and measure periods of coherence. The relevant point for this discussion from my Heartmath-based learnings was learning that coherence is not necessarily a desired “permanent” state. Rather, what truly matters is our ability to recognize when we’re “in coherence” and to reliably find our way back to it when life inevitably pulls us off-center.

As part of my ongoing Focusing routine, I have developed a successful “throughout-the-day” practice I call “Pause. Turn. Listen.” It allows me to “get present in the now” really well—whether for just a momentary check-in or for a longer Focusing partnership session.

About 6 weeks ago, I had one of my increasingly frequent, seemingly random and out-of-nowhere “early morning wonderings”. This one stopped me in my tracks.

A rather cheeky “inner questioner” unexpectedly emerged with a question about whether and why I might actually need a regular “sitting” practice. Especially if, during multiple moments throughout the day, I am able to “come back” to grounded presence (as with my coherence exercise experience). Yet, I also welcomed a deeper curiosity: If one equates a meditation/sitting practice as a concentrated effort to “stay with” centeredness, what happens “off the cushion” in real life? I had no ready answer and the rough notes from my wondering sleepily remained on my IPad.

Fast-forward 6 weeks. My email inbox included Dr. Mark Hyman’s weekly podcast announcement. Its click-bait title, One thing you should do every day got me to open the email. But, when I saw the topic was about meditating, I hesitated. And hesitated again. Something in me clearly didn’t want to revisit my meditation-failure days.

Finally, I gave in to the little voice inside that was encouraging me to listen. To stay curious and maybe learn something new from his guest, Emily Fletcher about how she combines the concepts of mindfulness, meditation and manifesting into what she calls the Ziva Technique. She’s also just released her first book, entitled Stress Less, Accomplish More.