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Artful Convening = Life-Changing Conversations

How do we create spaces of welcome, safety and belonging that are also fun and productive?

One of the biggest challenges in our world today is an inability to create effective, powerful and transformative conversations – whether in workplace or community meetings or even during informal gatherings with family and friends. All too often, as a way to avoid conflict or to disengage from difficult issues, we resort to “just talk” conversations that lack the ability to move us forward. As a result, nothing changes.

In contrast, artful conveners skillfully create and manage spaces for connection and engagement that facilitate conversations that include both meaning and consequence (and FUN!).

As part of my role as the Director of Art of Convening Programs with the Center for Purposeful Leadership, I invite you to join Craig Neal (who founded the Art of Convening 17 years ago) and me within an intimate cohort of people committed to creating space for welcome, safety, and belonging in their workplaces and communities.

The Art of Convening Applied Convening Course is a live, interactive 6-session (12-hour) online ZOOM course, where you will embody a sense of purpose, trust and collaboration as you apply the AoC Concepts into practice.

We’re offering both a morning (starts Thurs, 9/22) or evening (starts Tuesday, 9/22)(US Central) cohort.→→ Learn more

Be sure to include the code “Ally” at checkout for a special 15% discount.

Listen to what two of our most recent graduates have to say:

Greg speaks about becoming a stronger leader in the organization by increasing personal and organizational impact in a generative space of trust. He has the tools and processes for the tough conversations his organization is facing as they reimagine the future.

Greg Wilson, Abbott Vascular – US
Coronary & Endovascular Training & Education
Applied Convening Graduate

Lydia says she is on the way to being a better leader using the Convening Wheel as a roadmap and a navigator to prepare. She is a different leader, a co-leader, a “real” leader who has the passion and desire to develop other leaders as purposeful leaders.

Lydia Cheng, Leadership Trainer & Team Coach
Applied Convening Graduate

Register Now

Be sure to include the code “Ally” at checkout for a special 15% discount.

If you’d like more information, please feel free to contact me directly.

by mary elaine kiener Leave a Comment

Listen Here…A gift of serendipity from Mother Gaia

What serendipity for Earth Day.

Earlier today, while browsing through an old mindmap I had created while beginning to develop an introductory course about Felt-Sensing, I discovered a reference to the song entitled Listen Here by Dave Frishberg. The video clip posted here is by Nellie McKay who included the piece as part of her 2012 show about Rachel Carson.

by mary elaine kiener 2 Comments

2 minutes of pause…..

A few years ago, my friend sent along one of his occasional “meditation ditties”:

2 minutes is about the time it takes to heat water in my fancy tea kettle. We spend 2 minutes reading dumb ads on our phones. I regularly spend time recklessly on self flagellation.

Let’s agree to 2 minutes breathing deeply into our being. Opening to whatever arises. If it strikes us to sit a little longer, so be it. It’s a good use of our time.

As I read my friend’s words, I recalled a long-ago time when I (an admitted meditation-cushion-failure sufferer) had successfully learned to briefly pause…..whenever the phone would ring…..for even just one breath….waiting until the 2nd ring….before answering.

As I shared that story with my friend, I added:

This morning, just for yucks, I timed my own electric kettle….2 minutes to gurgling sounds….then 2 minutes to full boil and instant shut-off…

Then, realizing another possible (slightly longer) external cue–oven pre-heat time….as the stove issues a “ding” when the desired temp is reached…

And then, we were off to the races (as it were) to “make a list”. My friend began, by offering:

Water warming in shower
Car warming up

My additions:

Blue (my dog) pee-ing [it varies….from a single drop to at least a quart, sometimes! ;-)]
Computer re-booting
Time it takes the hot compress on my eyes to cool
Watching a leaf drift from a tree to the ground – or a single snowflake….or a butterfly visiting a flowering bush [seasonal delights from my dining room table…]
The duration of a smile, a giggle, a guffaw…

In return, my friend offered:

Restroom
Waiting in car for someone you are picking up
Food cooking, but don’t get lost

And, later that evening, feeling ever more mellow from all of my “pauses” throughout the day, I shared:

In the cold, clear night sky, watching (and waiting) as 2 solitary clouds pass across the just-past-full moon.
Savoring the wondrous, smooth, full, rich flavor of a mini-piece of dark, fair-trade chocolate.
Standing by the back door, waiting to slip on Blue’s leash, when he turns around to walk over for a drink from his water dish (then back and forth for another…and yet again another…) until HE is finally ready to go for a walk. Noticing how soon (or long) it takes for me to smile at him with love instead of impatience!

So, now, I’m a bit curious……what would YOU add to our list?

by mary elaine kiener 1 Comment

Another shoe drops…..

Another shoe dropped for me today in this new coronavirus world when I learned that an extended family member had died from the COVID-19.

Mark Blum was my step-daughter’s brother-in-law.

My heart goes out to their family during this difficult time, as well as to other families who have lost loved ones in this way.

While death is indeed the most inevitable part of anyone’s life, this disease claims its victims with little warning, leaving them or their families scant time to prepare or even say good-bye.

Then, I also remember there are countless other families, mourning loved ones who have recently died [and will continue to do so] from other causes, totally unrelated to COVID-19.

For ALL those who find themselves grieving during this particularly challenging time of social (physical) distancing, may we each pause for a moment to envelop them with compassionate, loving kindness. To help them know they are not alone in their grief and sorrow.

by mary elaine kiener Leave a Comment

Unfolding Possibilities-Showing Up Together

Especially during challenging times like these, we often find ourselves caught in the midst of an awkward, uncertain in-between place of fear and not-knowing.

What was once “normal” no longer exists–we can never go back to exactly what used to be. And, all we know about the future is that it will be somehow different as a result of what is happening now.

All too often, the here-and-now has a stuck-in-quagmire uncomfortable and ungrounded quality to it. It’s hard to find our bearings, to know which way to turn. To feel safe.

And yet, there might also be a tiny new shoot inside – with a sense of hope that the unfolding future may lead to something fresh and new. Filled with life and transformation. While, anything more than that feels still unclear and uncertain.

For over 10 years, Virtual Changes Gatherings have offered an opportunity for participants to listen each other into Courageous Wellbeing. To feel safe enough to be both compassionate and brave. We begin by inviting a felt sense of what has been lost from our past or that which still anchors us in the here-and-now. And, in that process we frequently receive the gift of a glimpse of the unfolding edge of what might be possible.

Normally, I host these Gatherings twice each month. However, for now , I have added 5 additional ones, so they are now available weekly (at least through the end of April). To see all the dates, you can go right to the Calendar. There’s also more information about the Gatherings themselves, here.

All are welcome to attend. There is no prior (Focusing) experience needed. Nor is there ever a fee for these Gatherings. They’re a gift I offer freely from my heart (while also gratefully accepting any “Heart Offerings” you might wish to offer in return.

by mary elaine kiener Leave a Comment

Tips to help your immune system and a FREE offer from StressStop.com

When I received the following email from a colleague, Jim Porter at StressStop.com, I knew I wanted to share it with you. [He’s been a trusted resource for me for nearly 20 years!] He offers some GREAT tips and the first of several FREE digital resources he is offering over the next several weeks.

So, you can click on his free offer [see box below] and/or read his article.

How to help your immune system fight the coronavirus.

[Reprinted with permission from Jim Porter at StressStop.com]

Sheldon Cohen, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University, has spent his entire career studying the effect of psychological stress and social support on immunity and susceptibility to infectious disease. His studies and hundreds of other studies like his, have proven that chronic stress lowers our body’s ability to fight off viruses and other pathogens that the body might encounter through cuts, scrapes, human contact and simply breathing the air.

Just because we are exposed to a virus, doesn’t mean we will get sick. A healthy immune system will fight off the invaders with killer T cell and B cells that can fend off a cold virus, without us ever knowing we had it. Chronic stress weakens our immune system and makes us more vulnerable to these invaders. For various reasons, which we will explain below, stress turns your immune system functioning down. Doctors and researchers call this immunosuppression. Obviously, during this Covid19 crisis, we want our immune systems to be functioning at peak levels. Here are five measures that that you can help you do that:

1) Lower stress. The immune system gets an initial boost during acute (short-lived) episodes of stress. After that initial boost, levels drop. According to stress expert, Dr. Robert Sapolsky of Stanford University: “Sustained major stressors drive immune system function down to 40 to 70% below baseline.” When this happens often enough, the immune system can become dysregulated, and no longer functions properly. Lowering stress with simple techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation and visualization (as well as the suggestions below) gives the immune system a respite from stress and can prevent it from becoming dysregulated.

2) Exercise. According to author and Harvard Medical School Professor, John Ratey, M.D., “stress and age depress the immune system, while exercise strengthens it.” Right up until I started exercising vigorously on most days, about 15 years ago, I would get three or four really nasty colds a year that would last 4-6 weeks from start to finish. Now I get one cold about every other year and each one lasts a week or two at the most. I attribute this improved immunity to regular exercise. (Keep in mind, this is only anecdotal evidence at best.)

3) Practice Yoga or stretching. The research here is plain and simple: Yoga lowers stress. Stress as we said above compromises your immune system. There are also several studies that show doing yoga about an hour before bed, will help you sleep better.

4) Go to bed early. According to William Dement, M.D., author of the book The Promise of Sleep, “Quality of sleep before infection is statistically significant in determining whether someone gets a cold.” There’s definitely a connection between chronic insomnia and immune system dysfunction.

5) Meditate. Two groups of 25 people got a flu shot. One group had just taken a mindfulness meditation class while the other group had not. The meditators immune system reaction to the flu shot was significantly stronger than the control group who hadn’t meditated.

So now you have some ideas for how to attack this problem of Covid19 from the inside out. Everything we’ve outlined above, will also help you lower stress. In this way you will have applied a one-two punch to the virus by increasing your immune system functioning and decreasing your stress.

Jim Porter
President StressStop