Inside me, with you, among us
Sometimes I find great Stresswell Snippets in the oddest places.
A recent reminder arrived courtesy of the daily horoscope column in my local newspaper.
Though you love to take care of others, do not do this to such an extent that they forget how to take care of themselves. They’ll only resent you for it later.
Hmmmm. Lovely words of wisdom.
And the potential benefits are endless – for both the caregiv-er AND the caregiv-ee.
I often marvel at how often the hymn tunes we sing on Sunday mornings, or the readings or the sermon reflect so clearly and dearly on issues I’m exploring throughout the rest of my life. [and just now, a part of me went “duh”…..church would be pretty useless if it didn’t relate to the rest of my life!].
Perhaps what I meant to say, was how I love being able to pause, and be reminded of how my life is living itself forward – sometimes quite unknowingly – from a place of inner rightness that only reveals tiny portions of itself at any given moment.
For example, several months ago, I shared a drawing and a poem through which I had begun to explore the concept of
I’m not alone – and it’s not all up to me.
as a means of discovering
Then, as the new year approached, I found myself choosing two themes to carry my living forward through the next 12 months – each of which I now realize flow seamlessly from that earlier piece.
In choosing the first – “exquisite sufficiency” – I’ve borrowed a bit from Buckminster Fuller as a means of more fully experiencing that elusive quality of “enough”. [hmmm – re-reading that sentence, I realize how oxymoronic it is – to more fully experience enough. Ah well, the hour is late, and the year is still young!]
And, as if that 1st theme didn’t promise me enough opportunity for growth, I discovered that a 2nd theme was also choosing ME – that of “community”. Interestingly enough, I had created a mandala drawing (see below) on January 1 – and only a week or so ago realized that in that drawing, I had already created a visual community.
As the year progresses, you’ll be hearing lots more about the various levels of community-building here at ASK ME House. For example, our Virtual Changes group continues to flourish and expand in scope, I’ve recently created a “Kitchen-Table-Circle of Allies“, started hosting a new Meetup group, am developing a formal internship program and will be incorporating an online community component to stresswell™.
And, this morning, as I joined my roomful of spiritual journey companions in song, it all felt so wonderfully (and sufficiently) right!
We Would Be One [1]
We would be one, as now we join in singing,
a song of love to pledge ourselves anew
to that high cause of greater understanding
of who we are, and what for us is true.
We would be one in searching for that meaning
which binds our hearts and guides us on our way.
A time of waiting — preparing a space
for gentle unfolding of new steps forward.
Not so easily shared in words – this new way ahead –
yet somewhere on awareness’ edge
an emerging knowing awakens to my presence.
Quietly hoping you’ll serve as witness
joining together with me
to meet and greet whatever comes alive.
© 2010 Mary Elaine Kiener
There’s work to be done that’s part of the whole grand scheme of oneness that’s here with me.
What’s most important is how I am in the doing of my life.
I’m not alone – and it’s not all up to me.
And yet, it does somehow start here with me – however humble the beginning.
No need to save the whole world.
If I can brighten the space within and around me, a light will spread through those whose lives I touch.
You’re working on a project that has a looming deadline. You started with lots of enthusiasm. You made some progress, but then crunch time arrives. You find yourself swirling amidst a torrent of conflicting ideas as your forward motion comes to a stop. Your mind goes numb. You can’t breathe. And the clock keeps ticking, louder and louder.
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock.
Conventional wisdom would have you believe that better time management skills could provide a simple cure to deadline paralysis. Maybe that’s too simplistic a view.
Projects (especially those with deadlines) do include a time variable. But they also include another variable: energy. And successful energy management skills are just as important to your productivity as time management skills.
So what’s a body to do?
Here’s one way to think about it. You’re canoeing downstream, with plans to meet with friends at a designated place and time. Suddenly, you see yourself approaching a logjam that interferes with the river’s downward flow. As the water meets the logjam, pressure begins to build up, resulting in a more turbulent flow of water. You recall hearing about other canoeists who have been injured and even drowned in this part of the river.
No doubt you’re wondering (and worrying!) whether or not you’ll ever reach your destination. And whether or not you’ll get there on time. But, I’ll bet that you also might be considering whether you’ll still be in one piece when (or, even if) you finally get there.
How many logs make a jam?
First, take a breath and simply notice the logjam that blocks your progress. Recognize it. Acknowledge it. No need to sugar coat it, but don’t run away from it, either. No blame, no shame. Just, “hmmm, isn’t this interesting.”
Back up (and gain some perspective).
Second, refocus your attention. Take a moment to double-check that you are in a fairly “safe” place along the river. (We don’t want you capsizing in that whirlpool right up against the logjam, after all!)
Now, pull back on your focus a bit until you can see both your destination and the logjam that currently blocks your progress. Check in with your breathing and your body for signals that you might need to alter your plans as you respond to the following questions:
As you resolve these questions, listen for your heart and mind to give you the “all clear” signal to move ahead.
Getting from here to there
Third, invite your creative side to come out and play. It’s a time when you can explore (from both a time and energy perspective) your options for moving forward. You might remember something that worked well in a previous experience. Or you can discover new ways of thinking and learning about the current situation.
Using the example of a logjam, you have several productive alternatives:
Find and remove the key log. Often, there is a single log that holds the logjam together. It’s also sometimes called the kingpin. Once you identify and remove that specific log, the blockage disappears and the entire logjam falls apart. In your case, the key log might be a limiting belief that blocks your way forward, such as “it has to be perfect.” Granting yourself permission for “good enough” instead of “perfect” might be all you need to resume your progress at full speed.From “what now?” to “now, what?”
Logjams are a normal part of life on the river. Getting past them can sometimes leave you behind schedule as well as drained of energy and enthusiasm.
Getting back into perspective within your body, mind and spirit can help you to clarify your overall goal in light of your present situation. This clarity then offers a path of least resistance in which your creative energy can again flow forward. As a result, your downstream journey can be much more rewarding than if you had blindly reacted to your initial panic and fear when faced with the logjam. And you’ll successfully finish your project with time and energy to spare.
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You may freely share and/or reprint in other electronic or print publications, provided you include the following attribution:
“ASK ME House, LLC article © 2008 Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.
Please also send me a courtesy note with a copy of the publication.
