When we listen, we offer with our attention an opportunity for wholeness.

Our listening creates a sanctuary for the homeless parts within the other person.

That which has been denied, unloved, devalued by themselves and by others.

That which is hidden.

In this culture, the soul and the heart too often go homeless.

Listening creates a holy silence.

When you listen generously to people they can hear the truth in themselves, often for the first time.

And in the silence of listening, you can know yourself in everyone.

Eventually, you may be able to hear, in everyone and beyond everyone, the unseen singing softly to itself and to you.

Rachel Naomi Remen

Could YOU use a good listening to?

Twice each month, I host a Virtual Changes gathering (by phone), that offers simply this – an opportunity to both listen and be listened to.  There’s never a fee.

You can get more information and a list of scheduled gatherings here.

I look forward to having you join us AND to listening!

Wanting to share it with a friend, I searched online and found the video included as part of a TEDx talk from last year.  It was so lovely to learn a bit more about Louie Schwartzberg, the film’s creator that it made sense to share both his introduction and the video itself [the entire clip is just under 10 minutes long].

Louie Schwartzberg is an award-winning cinematographer, director and producer who captures breathtaking images that celebrate life — revealing connections, universal rhythms, patterns and beauty.

See what first time users have to say about the Tower Garden.

See my photo journal

Join us to  learn how [either live OR virtually].

Twelve years ago, renowned physician and author Dr. William Sears was diagnosed with cancer. He, like so many people, wanted-and needed-to take control of his health. Dr. Sears created a comprehensive, science based, head-to-toe program for living a long, fit life-and it worked. Now at the peak of health, Dr. Sears also shares his program via DVD, entitled:  Nine Simple Steps to Prime-Time Health.

This engaging and deeply informative presentation will help motivate you to make crucial behavior and lifestyle changes .  Presented in Dr. Sears’s wise, accessible, and entertaining style, Nine Simple Steps to Prime-Time Health is a practical program to help you live your best life possible-pain-free, disease-free, stress-free, and medication-free.

Has there been a time in YOUR life when [in a moment of conflict] you’ve been able to pause and respond from a place of compassion and empathy for the other person’s experience?

Your comments are always welcome!

That’s the scene I encountered while out on my morning walk through the neighborhood.

At that moment, I paused on the sidewalk, to offer respectful, wonder-filled, silent witness to the magical moment of “first steps” that seemed primed to occur.  As I stopped, the little boy turned toward me, with his feet still tentatively moving forward.  The women invited me into their space and shared moment by inviting him, “Oh, you want to go to her…..Go to her.”

So I turned, stepping from the sidewalk onto the grass with my own outstretched fingers as an invitation for him to consider.

And, much to all our surprise, he took a couple of determined steps forward to grab onto my fingers and stand triumpant while each of us cheered his accomplishment.

I stifled the urge to pick him up and snuggle him with grateful, loving kisses – and instead, turned him back to return him to the 1st woman.

In the meantime, I heard both women marvel at his apparent comfort in coming right to me.  As the 1st woman exclaimed, “He don’t LIKE people!” the three of us shared a knowing, between-us-women kind of chuckle.

A brief moment of wonder – concluded as quickly as it had begun.

I quietly turned to resume my walk — with a noticeably lighter step — as I began to ponder about those invisible, yet real, energetic qualities that others experience in our presence.

Something inside me seems to recognize and/or connect with something inside the other that says it’s safe (or not)–and vice versa.

Of course, it can become more complicated than that in real life.  For example, con artists take advantage of this connection to then take advantage of us.  Likewise, our own neediness can sometimes blind us to what’s unsafe in the other or the situation in which we find ourselves.

Learning to nurture an open, yet discerning heart space is one of the fundamental skills I teach in Focused Self-Care.

I’ll also be addressing this topic in my upcoming free teleclass:  Resolved to Change:  Align Head and Heart.  I’d love to have you join us!

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your comments and feedback!

It all started in the raspberry patch this morning as I was harvesting the first of this season’s raspberry crop.  And during some ”across-the-fence” visiting with neighbors, Penny and Marilyn, I happened to mention that today was the first anniversary of my mom’s death.

As I worked my way through the tangle of brambles, enjoying the luscious sweet taste on my lips as I sampled a few of the plump-ripe berries, I remembered how mom would drop everything when presented with a bowl of fresh-picked raspberries.  She’d sit quietly, eating them one-by-one, savoring each one while dutifully emptying the bowl of its delights.

As I returned inside, I began to notice even more “foolish” things that daily serve to remind me of mom’s continuing presence in my life:

• The glass cruet that mom kept filled with apple cider vinegar.  I remember we poured it on sliced, fresh tomatoes in the summer-time and cooked, frozen spinach in the winter-time.  I still love the taste of apple cider vinegar - often enjoying a spoonful of Bragg’s raw, organic vinegar in a glass of water.
• Speaking of good things to drink, how about the beer mug that mom kept cold and ready in the refrigerator’s produce bin?  How mom loved her beer – especially if it included a bowl of peanuts!
• And, with the beer, would come mom’s generous laugh.  Oh, how I loved her laugh – so full and rich and filled with life.  She knew how important laughter is in our lives.  And I keep her little plaque in my kitchen window to remind me that “a giggle a day keeps the glums away.”
• Yet, for those days when the glums came anyway (whether for her or for someone else) there were always lots of little things around that could bring a giggle or two – or maybe even just a smile.   For example, there was always at least one copy of the Reader’s Digest around out in the studio – from where you could often hear one of us kids guffawing as we’d read through the jokes and anecdotes.  And as mom grew older, one of my favorite rituals included cranking the nose on the clown music box to make it begin to play “Send in the Clowns.”  Looking back, I’m not at all sure anymore whether that ritual ever made her actually “smile” [other than with a smile of toleration for my own silly ritual!].  But I did learn that all it really took to gladden her heart and light up her face with her soul-melting smile was to look up from her chair and see one of her kids or grandkids standing in the doorway of her room.
• She was rightfully proud of the family she had grown–or at least I hope we’ve done her proud.   As we were growing up, we’d celebrate our birthdays with a cake that she had made, using an iridescent glass plate on which to display it.  It wasn’t until years later that I discovered that she had an entire set of those plates, along with a matching serving bowl in the cupboard.
• Besides growing people, mom also grew plants–mostly the in-the-house type, like African violets or philodendron or English ivy.  And, for a long time (at least when I was a little girl), there were voluptuous sweet potato vines growing in her two matching Roseville “pinecone” vases.  A couple of weeks ago, after “baby-sitting” a neighbor’s vine, I decided to give it a try.  So far, no roots, but hopes still abound.

So many sweet memories.  Isn’t it amazing how such simple things can stir up so many memories?

I appreciate being able to share some of my memories and stories with you – and would love to hear some of yours.

So, what are some of the simple, foolish things in YOUR surroundings that bring back sweet memories of loved ones?

Feel free to leave a comment below, or send me an email.

Jennifer Louden recently addressed the idea of becoming “Skillfully Empathetic” – an especially challenging dilemma for those of us who are caregivers.    We have huge hearts, and often expect that somehow we must be able to care for everyone else in the world.

In the piece, Jen offered some really insightful perspectives related to boundary-setting, discernment and self-care–as part of her year-long experiment in “Savoring and Serving.” 

In addition, she shared a wonderful  exercise in creating “energy boundaries” from Hiroboga‘s How to Rule Your World. 

As I read through and experienced this luscious exercise (thanks to both of you – Jen and Hiroboga for making this available!), I was intrigued by how beautifully it might nurture the concept of “Self-In-Presence” that I teach as part of  Inner Relationship Focusing.   That is, perhaps becoming more skillful at sensing our boundaries at an energy-based level of  body-mind-spirit-oriented knowing would also help us better respond to whatever challenges life brings our way. 

For example, I often teach that we need only become “one breath larger” than our biggest fear to become “Self-in Presence.”  Now, with this lovely exercise,  once we can  become clearer about sensing, recognizing and even shifting ALL of our boundaries – whether it’s our “skin envelope”, our energy body or our energy field – it should be easier for us to become that one breath larger than our most anxious or fearful part.

I invite you to check out both Jen’s article and Hiroboga’s exercise at the end of the article.  Then, stop back here and let me know what you think, ok?

Perhaps what I meant to say, was how I love being able to pause, and be reminded of how my life is living itself forward – sometimes quite unknowingly – from a place of inner rightness that only reveals tiny portions of itself at any given moment.

For example, several months ago, I shared a drawing and a poem through which I had begun to explore the concept of 

I’m not alone – and it’s not all up to me.

as a means of discovering

a me that’s separate from my work.

Then, as the new year approached, I found myself choosing two themes to carry my living forward through the next 12 months – each of which I now realize flow seamlessly from that earlier piece.

In choosing the first – “exquisite sufficiency” – I’ve borrowed a bit from Buckminster Fuller as a means of more fully experiencing that elusive quality of “enough”.  [hmmm - re-reading that sentence, I realize how oxymoronic it is - to more fully experience enough.  Ah well, the hour is late, and the year is still young!]

And, as if that 1st theme didn’t promise me enough opportunity for growth, I discovered that a 2nd theme was also choosing ME – that of “community”.   Interestingly enough, I had created a mandala drawing (see below) on January 1 – and only a week or so ago realized that in that drawing,  I had already created a visual community.

 As the year progresses, you’ll be hearing lots more about the various levels of community-building here at ASK ME House.   For example, our Virtual Changes group continues to flourish and expand in scope, I’ve recently created a “Kitchen-Table-Circle of Allies“, started hosting a new Meetup group,  am developing a formal internship program and will be incorporating an online community component to stresswell™.

And, this morning, as I joined my roomful of spiritual journey companions in song, it all felt so wonderfully (and sufficiently) right!

We Would Be One [1] 

We would be one, as now we join in singing,
a song of love to pledge ourselves anew
to that high cause of greater understanding
of who we are, and what for us is true.
We would be one in searching for that meaning
which binds our hearts and guides us on our way.