ASK ME House

from ASK ME House, LLC and Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD

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At-a-Glance
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Article 1:  Crime Took a Holiday – Meaning-Making in Everyday Life

Article 2:  Stressing Well:  A Transformational Spin of the Wellness Wheel

Dimensions of Wellness E-Course

Recent stresswell™ snippets

4 Tips to Clear Away Holiday-Related Emotional Clutter

Change Your Attitude About Change

Calendar of Upcoming Presentations
Includes: 3 Workshops in Grand Rapids, Michigan (through Grand Rapids Community College)

ASK + ME + House = Presents
Includes:  A House Concert

Got stress?
The Stresswell(tm) Appraisal – Helping you transform mismanaged stress into health, well-being and vitality
http://stresswell.com/stresswell-appraisal/

Article 1: Crime Took a Holiday:  Meaning-Making in Everyday Life

No crimes to report

Last Thursday, the email message was rather brief:  “No crimes to report for Wednesday 11-5.”  Each weekday, my local police department sends out a Daily Crime Report via email, detailing such things as “aggravated assault,” “property damage,” “larceny,” “B&E”, and so forth.

“How interesting,” I thought, and found myself pondering whether there was any meaning to be found in the apparent non-occurrence of violence.  Was it mere coincidence that no crime occurred the day following Obama’s election?

Would you like a story with that happening?

As the days unfold, life continues to happen—around us and to us.  Much of the time, we do not even pay attention.  Every once in awhile, something begins to reach for our awareness and grab our attention, pressing our inner “pause” buttons.  For example, one day we might stop to notice something beautiful in nature.  We might take a deep breath of acknowledgement and gratitude and then simply continue with our day (albeit with an extra smile in our heart).

At other times, we hold on to that something, so that we can carry it with us.  Most often, we do this by giving it a story.   So now, we have something to play repeatedly in our head.

What happens when we become stuck in our own stories – in the drama of our lives?  As we continue to collect and hold on to our stories, the load gets heavier and it becomes harder for us to move forward.

Don’t get me wrong.  There is nothing wrong with a good story.  Rather, it is helpful for us to consider the net effect of each story we create.  Does our story help us take a step forward into living, or does it hold us back within a quagmire of emotional stuckness?

Which way forward?

There are varieties of creative methods to help us change negative stories into more helpful, positive stories.  I invite you to follow along as I share a few examples:

Re-script the scene

Many years ago, my late husband, Alex flat-out disagreed with a choice that I had made.  His response to my announcement was an emphatic “I cannot support this.”  The more I replayed that scene in my head, I found myself feeling more frustrated and angry with both Alex and myself, as well as unable to move forward in the direction I had chosen.

However, I took the opportunity to re-script the scene to include some additional verbiage from Alex.  To his terse statement of “I cannot support this”, I added the following dialogue:  “…..right now, based on my current understanding of the situation.  I love you and am afraid that you will get hurt.  Maybe, over time, I can feel more confident and be able to give you more support.”

This new script helped free me from my own negative emotional response, as it allowed me to move forward slowly in the direction I knew I needed to go.  This process also provided a compassionate space of understanding between Alex and me, which then offered him an opportunity to observe and grow more comfortable with the situation.

Call it what it is

I had been finding myself increasingly uncomfortable whenever I heard someone use the phrase, “You need to get out of your comfort zone.”  Somehow, adding a layer of guilt for my supposed laziness did not seem to encourage me to spring into action—especially if it entailed the certainty of more discomfort.

Yet, when I examined my image of “comfort zone,” I discovered that within this context, it more closely resembles a “fear zone” in which I become imprisoned.  Allowing myself to simply acknowledge and name the current fear—along with my stated goal—is often enough to help me step outside the zone of fear.

Reframe the story

Recently, a friend reported that she was experiencing a “fear of success” that threatened to keep her from doing what she needed to help grow her business.  She made a decision to acknowledge and befriend her sense of fear within a spirit of caring, compassionate curiosity.

The next morning, she excitingly shared that what she had previously defined as fear, had begun to shift.  Instead, she had awoken with a sense of a growing “readiness to learn” the next new thing that awaited her.

Deciding how much to believe of our stories

In 1824, in “Tales of a Traveler,” Washington Irving confessed, “I am always at a loss to know how much to believe of my own stories.”  Sometimes, as in the case of the curious non-crime report, the veracity of any specific cause-effect story would be hard to prove, so it obviously would not be the type of story to proclaim as absolute truth.

On the other hand, if any of my own personal stories helps to propel me forward into positive action (especially if I do not require anyone else to accept or approve it), then I am willing to welcome the creative opportunity into my life.

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Article 2:  Stressing Well:  A Transformational Spin of the Wellness Wheel

One, two, three, one, two, three….  My fellow workshop participants counted off in preparation for our first small group exercise.  As the counting reached me, Michael, our workshop leader interrupted:  “No, you’re not included.”

I felt as though a rug had been pulled out from beneath my feet.  I struggled to control my emotions, my face betraying a mixture of confusion, disbelief, and disappointment, mingled with a vague sense of betrayal.

During planning for the workshop (ironically, the theme was “loss”), my fellow co-organizers had repeated assured me that I could be a full participant throughout the workshop itself.  While small group exercises were normally done in triads, their experience had been that an occasional group of four was formed if the overall group size was not divisible by three.  However, on that particular morning, Michael appeared unwilling to make an accommodation.

As the triads began their work together, I attempted to regain my equilibrium.  I began a stresswell spin of the wheel while I tapped into my usual repertoire of stress management skills.   I stopped to breathe and shift into coherence.  I acknowledged my feelings and released them.  I examined my beliefs and judgments about the incident.

Although one of the groups had invited me in as an observer, I found myself continually distracted by feelings of loss and abandonment.   I felt fidgety and unable to sit still in a spirit of presence within the small group.  Eventually, I was pulled away from the exercise by an administrative task, and decided it would be too disruptive for me to return.

I left the room for a few moments to wash my face and provide some distance from the workshop itself.  As the exercise ended, lunch arrived and I realized how hungry I felt.

Conversation during lunch was also awkward.  My fellow organizers shared my puzzlement and empathized with my sadness.  Yet, I was also aware of wanting to maintain a positive atmosphere for the rest of the participants—even though I still was unsure of my own status for the remainder of the workshop.

A gnawing sadness continued throughout lunch.  Tears lingered just beneath the surface and threatened to erupt without notice.  I was puzzled by how important it seemed to be for me to actually participate in the workshop.

Finally, lunch was finished, and the group came back together.   I learned that Michael had decided to let me participate in the rest of the workshop exercises.  That afternoon, we would be take turns telling a story about a loss in our own lives.

I paused for a moment to invite a “felt sense” of which story might want to be told that afternoon.  Ah, along came my sophomore homeroom and English teacher, a nun whose name I could no longer remember.  What I did recall, however, was that “Sr. Mary NoName” and I had become fast friends that fall. She was perhaps no more than ten years my senior.  I had found myself enjoying our conversations immensely and looked forward to the times we spent together.

Then, one day, she had stopped me as I was leaving homeroom and told me that we could no longer spend time together outside of class.  She had offered no explanation as I sensed a door in my heart slam shut.  From that day forward, I was invisible to her and I felt shunned.

That afternoon, however, as I told the story to my “listener” within our group of four, I began to see threads linking that long ago experience with the intense feelings that had haunted me just a few hours before.  I began to recognize that those threads were linked as well to other losses throughout my life that had included themes of exclusion and abandonment and which had never quite lost their emotional sting.

As part of the workshop exercise, we also had the opportunity to address our listener with whatever words we would wish to say directly to the person we had been telling the story about, as well as offer a blessing to that person.  I found myself speaking both to myself as the devastated 15 year old girl and to my beloved teacher, acknowledging the pain she must have felt as well (because I felt sure that the forced separation had not been her choice).

As I spoke, I felt as though I were laying down a heavy burden, that I had carried for so long.  And throughout the rest of the workshop, I could feel the healing continue.

Of course, old habits sometimes are reluctant to slip away quite so easily.  As a result, in the days following the workshop, I’ve noticed occasional twinges of old, familiar, well-rehearsed feelings of abandonment.  Yet, as quickly as the twinges appear, they now disappear with the recognition that the initial hurt has been healed and that I no longer need the protective shield.

Lessons learned?  First, that any experience can affect us deeply within all dimensions of our being.  Second, that a lingering response to a stressful incident might have deep taproots to an earlier experience that yearns for a transformational healing process.  Third, that a “spin of the wheel” may become a three-dimensional spiral of growth and healing that transcends time and space.

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May you always stress well, Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD

p.s. Do you frequently find yourself without enough energy to accomplish all that you want in life?

As a human being, you are an energy transformer, connected with the whole universe.  Your body/mind/spirit is designed as a sophisticated “energy transformation system.”  When the flow of energy in your system is balanced and smooth, you feel good.  When there is interference in the energy flow, illness often results.  The challenge of being well consists of maximizing the efficiency of all 12 dimensions of your own energy transformation system.

This month’s articles addressed “Finding Meaning” and “Transcending” – the 11th and 12th dimension of the Wellness Energy System that forms the foundation for the Wellness Inventory – Whole Person Assessment Program.

To learn more about all 12 dimensions of the Wellness Energy System, you may just want to enroll in my new “Dimensions of Wellness” E-course.  Each week, for 12 weeks, I’ll provide you with a brief description and overview for each of the 12 Dimensions of Wellness.

Come take a look (both the look AND the course are FREE!)

And feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

Calendar of Upcoming Presentations

Thursday, January 29, 2009, 5:30-7 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

Starting Well: Exploring Ways to Become More than Just “Not Sick”

Saturday, February 7, 2009, 9 am – 3 pm- Grand Rapids, MI

Stressing Well: Transforming Your Approach to Stress

Wednesday, February 25, 2009, 5 – 8 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

Eating Well: Recognizing the Health Influence of Food and Water

ASK + ME + House = Presents

Sunday, January 18, 2009, 3:30 pm (doors open at 3pm) – House Concert
Bill & Kate Isles

The Stresswell(TM) Appraisal : Got stress? (Who doesn’t?)

Mismanaged stress has become the primary underlying cause for nearly all of today’s lifestyle diseases. The Stresswell(TM) Appraisal is a process designed to help you objectively determine how mismanaged stress currently affects your body’s overall ability to be well. And no matter your starting point, you can become more attuned to your body, mind spirit as you awaken your own healing wisdom.

Testimonial: Stress may be “a global epidemic,” but you don’t have to succumb to this fate. The first step is to assess your health status. Mary Elaine Kiener’s Stresswell(TM) Appraisal is by far, one of the best assessments to determine your physical stress. If you value your health, the Stresswell(TM) Appraisal is the next step that empowers you to make effective changes toward optimal wellness. Brian Luke Seaward, PhD , Author of “Managing Stress and “Achieving the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection.”
I love to hear from you.

Did this month’s articles resonate for you?  Did anything bug you?  Questions?

Drop me a line.

Better yet, I’d love it if you forward this E-News to someone you think would enjoy it.

========================================

If someone forwarded you this E-News, and you aren’t yet a subscriber, send a blank email:

========================================

The ASK ME House E-News–
This E-News is copyright (c)2008, Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint in any eZine, website or print journal.  Simply include the following attribution:
“ASK ME House article (c) 2008 Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, all rights reserved.  Reprinted with permission.  Does your body manage stress well?  Find out at:
http://stresswell.com/saliva-ph-test/.”

Please also send me a courtesy note with a copy of the publication.

I send out an extra email one to three times a month detailing programs and offers.

ASK ME House, LLC
stresswell ™ – transforming stress to well-being and vitality
How do we do that?  You can start by learning how your body responds to stress with a 5-minute Saliva pH Challenge Test you can do right at home.  Get free instructions on-line:

ASK ME House E-News
from ASK ME House, LLC and Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD

At-a-Glance

Article:  Walking the Talk When Our Going Gets Rough

Dimensions of Wellness E-Course

Calendar of Upcoming Presentations
Includes:  A Free Webinar, a Free Teleclass and an on-site workshop in Grand Rapids, Michigan

ASK + ME + House = Presents
Includes:  A Health Education Seminar and a House Concert

Got stress?
The Stresswell(tm) Appraisal – Helping you transform mismanaged stress into health, well-being and vitality

Article:  Walking the Talk When Our Going Gets Rough

You’ve just encountered a moment from hell.  You were going along fine, when suddenly life tripped you up.  It might have been a hurtful email from someone you thought was a friend.  Perhaps you lost a longtime customer or client to a business colleague whose motives you now question.  Or someone else questioned your own actions or motives.

Your first (and hopefully, brief) reaction to any of the above situations might be one of shock, with a pinch of anger or hurt (perhaps both!):  “How could he do that?”, “What’s wrong with her?”, or “Why me?”

Now what?

If you were to act from within this stress-filled mindset, chances are you would end up making the situation worse.  The more you stay focused on the negatives or on assigning blame, the more your actions and communication will then focus toward you becoming the winner and the other person the loser.  Then, your brief moment in hell expands to a day, or longer.

It’s easy to talk our talk.  And, it might even be easy to walk the talk when the going is smooth.  But what happens when the going gets rough?  Are there some strategies that can help us not only better understand our talk, but also make the walking easier?

Expand our awareness

When we are under duress, our perceptions often become narrowly focused on our own survival.  This is natural (our brains are actually hard-wired that way), and is especially important in matters of life and death.  However, the more we allow an adrenaline-fueled mindset to direct our thoughts and our actions, we become less aware of ourselves and less willing to explore alternative behaviors.

One way to expand our awareness is through the use of the Johari Window (1), a communication model initially developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham.  Using the analogy of a quarterpane window, each pane of the window describes 1 of 4 different levels of self-awareness:

1.  Open Area:  Things I and others know about me

2.  Blind Spot:  Things I don’t know, but others do know about me

3.  Hidden Area:  Things I know, but others don’t know about me

4.  Unknown:  Things that neither I nor others know about me

In a close-minded person, the “open area” quadrant is often rather constricted, with tightly held boundaries.  Through the careful give-and-take of self-disclosure and requesting feedback, it is possible to enlarge one’s open area, which then serves to decrease the size and influence of one or more of the other three areas.  As a person gains self-knowledge and self-esteem, this process also promotes the development of transparency and trust within his relationships with co-workers, family and friends.

Choose your response

With the Choice Map (2), Dr. Marilee Goldberg Adams offers a useful option.  Instead of reacting from within our “Judger Self”, she invites us to respond from within our “Learner Self.”  This approach allows us to make thoughtful choices that are solution-focused and provide for win-win relationships.

Talk less, listen more

Within this model, questions such as “Whose fault is it?” or “How can I prove I’m right?” shift to questions such as “What do I want?”, “What can I learn?” and “What’s the best thing to do?”  As a person’s reactive, inflexible and judgmental mindset becomes more thoughtful, flexible and accepting, her mood transitions from pessimism, stress and limitations to optimism, hope and possibilities.  Over time, relationships are able to grow and flourish within an atmosphere of respect and trust.

Becoming the change

Gandhi is well known for his admonition:  “Be the change you want to see in the world.”  I have adopted it as a cornerstone for both the stresswell(tm) philosophy and how I choose to live my life.

Every day seems to bring me another unanticipated challenge to learn how to walk my talk.  Certainly easier said than done.

It helps if I can see each challenge as a well-timed opportunity rather than as a distressing burden.  It also helps to know that this is a learned skill, especially given our physiological tendency to self-protect when under stress.

Through the use of learning-oriented questions to increase both my levels of self-awareness and understanding of others, I can practice acting in harmony with my deepest values and beliefs.

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Footnotes:

1. Johari Window diagram:  http://www.global-change-seminar.org/images/johari.gif
For an interactive Johari Window exercise, go to: http://kevan.org/johari.cgi
2. Adapted from Goldberg, M. (1998). The Art of the Question.  Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.
Choice Map(tm):  http://www.qstorming.com/pdf/Choice_Map.pdf

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May you always stress well, Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD

p.s.  Do you frequently find yourself without enough energy to
accomplish all that you want in life?

As a human being, you are an energy transformer, connected with the
whole universe.  Your body/mind/spirit is designed as a
sophisticated “energy transformation system.”  When the flow of
energy in your system is balanced and smooth, you feel good.  When
there is interference in the energy flow, illness often results.
The challenge of being well consists of maximizing the efficiency
of all 12 dimensions of your own energy transformation system.

This month’s article addressed “Intimacy” – the 10th
dimension of the Wellness Energy System that forms the foundation
for the Wellness Inventory – Whole Person Assessment Program.

To learn more about all 12 dimensions of the Wellness Energy
System, you may just want to enroll in my new “Dimensions of
Wellness” E-course.  Each week, for 12 weeks, I’ll provide you with
a brief description and overview for each of the 12 Dimensions of
Wellness.

Come take a look (both the look AND the course are FREE!)

And feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

Calendar of Upcoming Presentations

Thursday, October 16, 2008, 10 – 11am – Free Webinar
Stress, Immunity & Health: Nutrition Connections

Wednesday, October 29, 2008, 11am – 12:15 pm – Free Teleclass
Sick of Stress?  Strategies to Ransom a Kidnapped Life

Wednesday, November 5, 2008, 5 – 8 pm – Grand Rapids, MI
Fueling the Body While Feeding the Spirit

ASK + ME + House = Presents

Thursday, November 6, 2008, 7 – 8:30 pm – Prevention Plus+ Health Education Seminar
Brain Health & Aging – Rosalyn Baker, LMSW

Saturday, November 22, 2008, 8 – 10 pm – House Concert
Jamie Anderson

========================================

The Stresswell(TM) Appraisal : Got stress? (Who doesn’t?)

Mismanaged stress has become the primary underlying cause for nearly all of today’s lifestyle diseases. The Stresswell(TM) Appraisal is a process designed to help you objectively determine how mismanaged stress currently affects your body’s overall ability to be well. And no matter your starting point, you can become more attuned to your body, mind spirit as you awaken your own healing wisdom.

Testimonial: Stress may be “a global epidemic,” but you don’t have to succumb to this fate. The first step is to assess your health status. Mary Elaine Kiener’s Stresswell(TM) Appraisal is by far, one of the best assessments to determine your physical stress. If you value your health, the Stresswell(TM) Appraisal is the next step that empowers you to make effective changes toward optimal wellness. Brian Luke Seaward, PhD , Author of “Managing Stress and “Achieving the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection.”

========================================
I love to hear from you.

Did this month’s article resonate for you?  Did anything bug you?  Questions?

Drop me a line.

Better yet, I’d love it if you forward this E-News to someone you think would enjoy it.

========================================

If someone forwarded you this E-News, and you aren’t yet a subscriber, send a blank email:

========================================

The ASK ME House E-News–
This E-News is copyright (c)2008, Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint in any eZine, website or print journal.  Simply include the following attribution:
“ASK ME House article (c) 2008 Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, all rights reserved.  Reprinted with permission.  Does your body manage stress well?  Find out at:
http://stresswell.com/saliva-ph-test/.”

Please also send me a courtesy note with a copy of the publication.

I send out an extra email one to three times a month detailing programs and offers.

ASK ME House, LLC
stresswell ™ – transforming stress to well-being and vitality
How do we do that?  You can start by learning how your body responds to stress with a 5-minute Saliva pH Challenge Test you can do right at home.  Get free instructions on-line:

me@askmehouse.com
(517) 484-3127

September 2008 – ASK ME House E-News

Conversations With My GPS – A Lesson in Listening to Myself

At-a-Glance

* Article : Conversations With My GPS – A Lesson in Listening to Myself

* Dimensions of Wellness E-Course

* Calendar of Upcoming Presentations – Includes a series of on-site workshops in Grand Rapids, MI, plus a FREE Webinar and a FREE Teleclass

* The Stresswell™ Appraisal – transform stress as you create health, well-being and vitality

Article:  Conversations With My GPS – A Lesson in Listening to Myself

Start Your Engine

Day 1 of a 14-day car trip by myself:  A beautiful day, filled with clear skies, warm sun and an open road.  It was a perfect day for a drive through the countryside.

I had a destination to reach the following day.  But, for a day, I was totally on my own—free to explore a bit of the lovely countryside that patiently waited.

Alone with my thoughts, I was suddenly tempted by the promise of a scenic by-way.  As I chose the new road, my peaceful reverie was suddenly intercepted by a woman’s voice, quietly announcing:  “Calculating route.”

Ah, yes, I’d almost forgotten about my new travel companion—my recently purchased GPS (Global Positioning System).  Inspired by her brand name (Magellan) and feminine voice, it had seemed only natural to name her “Maggie.”

“Such a pleasant change,” I thought, as I recalled car trips with my late husband, during times when I was driving.  Whenever I would choose to stray from a route that he had expected me to take, he would often respond with a startled and impatient “Why did you turn there?” or “Where are you going now?”  Followed by either raised voices or stony silence, with an unhealthy dose of blame or shame and hurt feelings thrown in for good measure.

As the days of my journey with Maggie unfolded, I found that—just as she helped me navigate a 2000 mile car trip—she emerged as a kind of metaphor for my inner wisdom as I navigate my personal life journey.  With a growing sense of curiosity, I explored various ways I might listen to myself that were nestled within my experience with Maggie as a travel companion.

A still, small voice

Once Maggie knew our destination, she became like the still, small voice of wisdom inside of each of us—our inner compass.  As I neared a turn or an exit, she would always give me gentle spoken reminders, ending with a little chime as I would arrive at the designated exit.  Often, especially when on the freeway, she would even let me know that I should “stay on the current road.”

Reminder to self: How often do I check in with myself—my inner wisdom?  Do I remember to listen to my “felt sense”—that bodily sense of knowing that I can always trust to keep me on my right path?  How often do I ignore that little voice inside of me?  How often do I wait until it has to practically shout at me before I stop and pay attention?

Maintaining focus

As Maggie started to work, her opening screen would include a reminder to keep my eyes on the road and pay attention to my driving.  Brief check-ins with the screen images were ok, but my focus needed to be in the task at hand:  driving safely from here to there.

Reminder to self: In my daily life, where is my focus?  Am I paying attention to the present moment, or am I lost in thoughts and feelings from past events?  Am I so bogged down with could’s, should’s and ought’s that I miss the beauty and perfection that surrounds me?  When I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed–not sure of where to turn–do I stop at least long enough to breathe?  Do I remember to check in with myself and get my bearings before barreling ahead?

The inner critic

Once I had programmed the desired destination, Maggie offered several alternative settings (i.e., fastest time, shortest distance, most use of freeways or least use of freeways) before creating the recommended route.  Whenever I happened to deviate from the route she had provided, Maggie always maintained her equanimity, with never an emotional outburst replacing her ever-present, even-tempered response, “Calculating route.”

Reminder to self: That inner critic that often resides inside my brain, is NOT part of my inner wisdom. I can acknowledge the fear that tends to underlie my mind’s self-protective settings that manifest as blame, shame, snarky and snotty. And then switch to my preferred channel of self-talk.

A long leash of serendipity

A few times, I evidently chose one too many scenic detours from the established route.   However, Maggie declined to pout or offer any snide comments.  Instead, in a sort of resigned puzzlement, she quietly invited me to “Say a command,” as her screen offered several options for me to clarify my needs.  Once she was reassured of my final destination, she was content to let me continue to explore various byways.  Blessedly, she also kept track of my time commitment, so that I could easily arrive at my destination on time.

Reminder to self: The more I can honor my creative urges, while respecting necessary deadlines, the less stressful my life will become.  Knowing my inherent level of curiosity and my propensity for immersing myself within an exploratory journey of learning, how can I consistently anticipate and include that exploration time into my scheduling process?

Tuning out the world

On several occasions during the trip, I knew exactly where I was and how to get to where I was going.  I was self-assured and confident, my direction was clear.  At times, I simply ignored the quiet commands as they occurred (especially easy if the radio or a CD was playing).  Once or twice, I actually turned Maggie off, with gratitude for both her willingness to assist, but also for the renewed silence in the car.

Reminder to self: Sometimes the chatter from the outside world distracts me from my values and goals.  Am I able to separate myself from the distractions that surround me?  Am I able to make a well-reasoned decision and move forward toward desired action steps with confidence and without need for outside support and acclamation?  And am I willing to bless myself with occasional silence?  Do I schedule opportunities to withdraw from the busy push-tug world around me (e.g., by turning off email and cell-phone)?

A personal GPS unit

For all her recognized benefits, Maggie could never quite measure up to being my ideal travel companion and conversationalist.  She’s a bit too matter-of-fact, with no ability for idle chit-chat.  And she seems to have no sense of humor.  While I loved her non-judgmental approach, I did miss the opportunity for compassionate and empathetic dialogue.

Interestingly, during the middle of my two week journey, I participated in a Focusing Institute Summer School.  During 6 full days, along with about 70 other wonder-full souls, I learned to listen to my “felt sense,” which Ann Weiser Cornell (www.focusingresources.com) describes as “a body sensation that has meaning.”

As a result, I returned from my travels with a second fully-functioning personal GPS system.  In this case, GPS could mean “grounded power source,”  “gut-perfect sensations,” or even “grounded presence, subtlely.”  This newly tuned device resides deep within my body wisdom, ever ready to compassionately keep me on track.  As long as I’m willing and ready to listen.

May you always stress well, Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD

p.s. Do you frequently find yourself without enough energy to accomplish all that you want in life?

As a human being, you are an energy transformer, connected with the entire universe. Your body/mind/spirit is designed as a sophisticated “energy transformation system.” When the flow of energy in your system is balanced and smooth, you feel good. When there is interference in the energy flow, illness often results. The challenge of being well consists of maximizing the efficiency of all 12 dimensions of your personal energy transformation system.

This month’s article addresses “Communicating” – the 9th dimension of the Wellness Energy System that forms the foundation for the Wellness Inventory – Whole Person Assessment Program.

To learn more about all 12 dimensions of the Wellness Energy System, you may just want to enroll in my new “Dimensions of Wellness” E-Course . Each week, for 12 weeks, I’ll provide you with a brief description and overview for each of the 12 Dimensions of Wellness.

Come take a look (both the look AND the course are FREE!).

And feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

__________________________________________________

Calendar of Upcoming Presentations: This fall, I’m delighted to be part of team of health professionals co-teaching a series of workshops [on Creating Optimal Health ] being sponsored by Grand Rapids Community College, in Grand Rapids, MI. Dates, titles and links for additional information/registration are included below.

And, since many of you are not close enough to attend an in-person workshop, I’ll be offering my first Webinar this month, on September 16, from 8-9pm. It’s entitled Stress, Immunity & Health: Nutrition Connections and it’s free! For more info, or to register, click here .

Thursday, September 11, 2008, 1 – 2:30 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

Creating Optimal Health in Your Life & Your Practice

Tuesday, September 16, 2008, 8 – 9pm – Free Webinar

Stress, Immunity & Health: Nutrition Connections

Tuesday, September 23, 2008, 3 – 4:15 pm – Free Teleclass

Learning to Stress Well – Beginning the Journey

Thursday, September 25, 2008, 6 – 8 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

One Belief at a Time: How Our Beliefs Shape Our Health

Saturday, October 11, 2008, 9 am – 3:30 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

Achieving Optimal Health While Living with Stress: A Transformative One-Day Retreat

Wednesday, November 5, 2008, 5 – 8 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

Fueling the Body While Feeding the Spirit

__________________________________________________

The Stresswell™ Appraisal : Got stress? (Who doesn’t?) Mismanaged stress has become the primary underlying cause for nearly all of today’s lifestyle diseases. The Stresswell™ Appraisal is a process designed to help you objectively determine how mismanaged stress currently affects your body’s overall ability to be well. And no matter your starting point, you can become more attuned to your body, mind spirit as you awaken your own healing wisdom.

Testimonial: Stress may be “a global epidemic,” but you don’t have to succumb to this fate. The first step is to assess your health status. Mary Elaine Kiener’s Stresswell™ Appraisal is by far, one of the best assessments to determine your physical stress. If you value your health, the Stresswell™ Appraisal is the next step that empowers you to make effective changes toward optimal wellness. Brian Luke Seaward, PhD , Author of Managing Stress and Achieving the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection.

Learn more here.

___________________________________________________

I love to hear from you.

Did this month’s article resonate for you? Did anything about this newsletter bug you? Questions?

Please drop me a line .

Better yet, I’d love it is you would forward this E-News to someone you think would enjoy it.

__________________________________________________

If someone forwarded you this E-News, and you aren’t yet a subscriber, you can subscribe here . As a new subscriber, you’ll also receive some great freebies .

_________________________________________________

The ASK ME House E-News

This E-News is copyrighted. © 2008 Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, all rights reserved.

You may freely reprint in any eZine, website or print journal. Simply include the following attribution:

“ASK ME House article © 2008 Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. Does your body manage stress well? Find out at: http://stresswell.com/saliva-ph-test/.”

Please also send me a courtesy note with a copy of the publication.

I send out an extra email one to three times per month, detailing programs and offers.

ASK ME House, LLC

stresswell© – transforming stress to well-being and vitality

How do we do that? You can start by learning how your body responds to stress, with a 5-minute Saliva pH Challenge Test you can do right at home. Get free instructions on-line .

me@askmehouse.com

(517) 484-3127

August 2008 – ASK ME House E-News

How To Keep Deadline Paralysis from Claiming Another Victim

At-a-Glance

• Article : How to Keep Deadline Paralysis from Claiming Another Victim
  • Dimensions of Wellness E-Course
    
• Recent Stresswell™ Snippets
  • Water, Water Everywhere, Nor Any Drop to Drink
  • Costs of a Lesson Learned
• Calendar of Upcoming Presentations – Includes a series of on-site workshops in Grand Rapids, MI, plus a free Webinar
• ASK + ME + House = PRESENTS – when a house wants a job of its own
• The Stresswell™ Appraisal – transform stress as you create health, well-being and vitality

Article: How to keep deadline paralysis from claiming another victim

You’re working on a project that has a looming deadline. You started with lots of enthusiasm. You made some progress, but then crunch time arrives. You find yourself swirling amidst a torrent of conflicting ideas as your forward motion comes to a stop. Your mind goes numb. You can’t breathe. And the clock keeps ticking, louder and louder.

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock.

Conventional wisdom would have you believe that better time management skills could provide a simple cure to deadline paralysis. Maybe that’s too simplistic a view.

Projects (especially those with deadlines) do include a time variable. But they also include another variable: energy. And successful energy management skills are just as important to your productivity as time management skills.

So what’s a body to do?

Here’s one way to think about it. You’re canoeing downstream, with plans to meet with friends at a designated place and time. Suddenly, you see yourself approaching a logjam that interferes with the river’s downward flow. As the water meets the logjam, pressure begins to build up, resulting in a more turbulent flow of water. You recall hearing about other canoeists who have been injured and even drowned in this part of the river.

No doubt you’re wondering (and worrying!) whether or not you’ll ever reach your destination. And whether or not you’ll get there on time. But, I’ll bet that you also might be considering whether you’ll still be in one piece when (or, even if) you finally get there.

How many logs make a jam?

First, take a breath and simply notice the logjam that blocks your progress. Recognize it. Acknowledge it. No need to sugar coat it, but don’t run away from it, either. No blame, no shame. Just, “hmmm, isn’t this interesting.”

Back up (and gain some perspective).

Second, refocus your attention. Take a moment to double-check that you are in a fairly “safe” place along the river. (We don’t want you capsizing in that whirlpool right up against the logjam, after all!)

Now, pull back on your focus a bit until you can see both your destination and the logjam that currently blocks your progress. Check in with your breathing and your body for signals that you might need to alter your plans as you respond to the following questions:

• What is your ultimate goal?
• What do you really want to accomplish?
• What are you responsible for, and to whom?
• Given your projected timeline and current energy levels, is your original goal still desirable and feasible?
• Can you renegotiate the project outcomes and/or deadlines?

As you resolve these questions, listen for your heart and mind to give you the “all clear” signal to move ahead.

Getting from here to there

Third, invite your creative side to come out and play. It’s a time when you can explore (from both a time and energy perspective) your options for moving forward. You might remember something that worked well in a previous experience. Or you can discover new ways of thinking and learning about the current situation.

Using the example of a logjam, you have several productive alternatives:

• Use a snag boat. This is a special type of steam boat that literally breaks through the log jam and then lifts the logs into the boat where they can be chopped into smaller pieces. Try chopping your project down into small, doable pieces.

• Raise the water level in the river. An increased supply of water can provide enough momentum to float the logjam loose. Take each of those small steps you just identified, one at a time, and you will soon find your way clear and your energy and momentum restored. It’s the increased flow of activity and energy that can make the difference.

• Find a different route . Energy will always seek a path of least resistance. That is, the easiest route. It may sometimes mean lifting the canoe out of the water to portage downstream along the bank, past the logjam, before resuming your downstream journey.

• Is there an easier (or less-labor intensive) way to get your project done?

• Is there anyone who can help with some of those bits and pieces you identified earlier?

• Find and remove the key log. Often, there is a single log that holds the logjam together. It’s also sometimes called the kingpin. Once you identify and remove that specific log, the blockage disappears and the entire logjam falls apart. In your case, the key log might be a limiting belief that blocks your way forward, such as “it has to be perfect.” Granting yourself permission for “good enough” instead of “perfect” might be all you need to resume your progress at full speed.

From “what now?” to “now, what?”

Logjams are a normal part of life on the river. Getting past them can sometimes leave you behind schedule as well as drained of energy and enthusiasm.

Getting back into perspective within your body, mind and spirit can help you to clarify your overall goal in light of your present situation. This clarity then offers a path of least resistance in which your creative energy can again flow forward.

As a result, your downstream journey can be much more rewarding than if you had blindly reacted to your initial panic and fear when faced with the logjam. And you’ll successfully finish your project with time and energy to spare.

May you always stress well, Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD

p.s. Do you frequently find yourself without enough energy to accomplish all that you want in life?

As a human being, you are an energy transformer, connected with the entire universe. Your body/mind/spirit is designed as a sophisticated “energy transformation system.” When the flow of energy in your system is balanced and smooth, you feel good. When there is interference in the energy flow, illness often results. The challenge of being well consists of maximizing the efficiency of all 12 dimensions of your personal energy transformation system.

This month’s article addresses “Playing & Working” – the 8th dimension of the Wellness Energy System that forms the foundation for the Wellness Inventory – Whole Person Assessment Program.

To learn more about all 12 dimensions of the Wellness Energy System, you may just want to enroll in my new “Dimensions of Wellness” E-Course . Each week, for 12 weeks, I’ll provide you with a brief description and overview for each of the 12 Dimensions of Wellness.

Come take a look (both the look AND the course are FREE!).

And feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

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Recent Stresswell™ Snippets

Water, Water Everywhere, Nor Any Drop to Drink: Here in the US, we often take our water quality for granted. Except in case of dire emergencies, we simply walk to the closest faucet to turn on the tap for fresh, clean drinking water. I first learned about the challenges of getting clean drinking water…. [more]

Costs of a Lesson Learned: Some days bring us costly lessons. Some lessons simply cost us money. Today’s lesson came in the form of….[more]

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Calendar of Upcoming Presentations: This fall, I’m delighted to be part of team of health professionals co-teaching a series of workshops [on Creating Optimal Health ] being sponsored by Grand Rapids Community College, in Grand Rapids, MI. Dates, titles and links for additional information/registration are included below.

And, since many of you are not close enough to attend an in-person workshop, I’ll be offering my first Webinar next month, on September 16, from 8-9pm. It’s entitled Stress, Immunity & Health: Nutrition Connections and it’s free! For more info, or to register, click here .

S aturday, September 6, 2008, 9 – 10:30 am – Grand Rapids, MI

Creating Optimal Health: Beginning the Journey

Thursday, September 11, 2008, 1 – 2:30 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

Creating Optimal Health in Your Life & Your Practice

Tuesday, September 16, 2008, 8 – 9pm – Free Webinar

Stress, Immunity & Health: Nutrition Connections

Thursday, September 25, 2008, 6 – 8 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

One Belief at a Time: How Our Beliefs Shape Our Health

Saturday, October 11, 2008, 9 am – 3:30 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

Achieving Optimal Health While Living with Stress: A Transformative One-Day Retreat

Wednesday, November 5, 2008, 5 – 8 pm – Grand Rapids, MI

Fueling the Body While Feeding the Spirit

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ASK + ME + House = PRESENTS : What would you do it your house said it wanted a job of its own?

This past spring, the house and I joined together for ASK + ME + House = Presents — as in giving gifts of people and events that bring us all together in this wonderfully inviting atmosphere. We offered a couple of really great house concerts, featuring Barb Barton and Camrea , and hosted several other kinds of events.

__________________________________________________

The Stresswell™ Appraisal : Got stress? (Who doesn’t?) Mismanaged stress has become the primary underlying cause for nearly all of today’s lifestyle diseases. The Stresswell™ Appraisal is a process designed to help you objectively determine how mismanaged stress currently affects your body’s overall ability to be well. And no matter your starting point, you can become more attuned to your body, mind spirit as you awaken your own healing wisdom.

Testimonial: Stress may be “a global epidemic,” but you don’t have to succumb to this fate. The first step is to assess your health status. Mary Elaine Kiener’s Stresswell™ Appraisal is by far, one of the best assessments to determine your physical stress. If you value your health, the Stresswell™ Appraisal is the next step that empowers you to make effective changes toward optimal wellness. Brian Luke Seaward, PhD , Author of Managing Stress and Achieving the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection .

To learn more, click here .

___________________________________________________

I love to hear from you.

Did this month’s article resonate for you? Did anything about this newsletter bug you? Questions?

Please drop me a line .

Better yet, I’d love it is you would forward this E-News to someone you think would enjoy it.

__________________________________________________

If someone forwarded you this E-News, and you aren’t yet a subscriber, you can subscribe here . As a new subscriber, you’ll also receive some great freebies .

_________________________________________________

The ASK ME House E-News

This E-News is copyrighted. © 2008 Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, all rights reserved.

You may freely reprint in any eZine, website or print journal. Simply include the following attribution:

“ASK ME House article © 2008 Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, all rights reserved. Reprinted with permission. Does your body manage stress well? Find out at: http://stresswell.com/saliva-ph-test/.”

Please also send me a courtesy note with a copy of the publication.

I send out an extra email one to three times per month, detailing programs and offers.

ASK ME House, LLC

stresswell© – transforming stress to well-being and vitality

How do we do that? You can start by learning how your body responds to stress, with a 5-minute Saliva pH Challenge Test you can do right at home. Get free instructions on-line .

me@askmehouse.com

(517) 484-3127

Starting in August, 2008, I will begin publishing a monthly newsletter on the 2nd Tuesday of the month. It will include the following features:

• a feature article addressing one of 12 dimensions of wellness as featured in the Wellness Inventory
• Snippets from my Stresswell blog
• Announcements of upcoming workshops, teleclasses and webinars that I am offering, beginning in September, 2008
• Announcements of upcoming ASK+ME+House=Presents house concerts and other events.

In the meantime, I’d love to find a great name for the newsletter. Care to help?